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A classmate inquires, what is the perfect Indian woman? - A question whose answer might evoke an emotional response and put someone in discomfort. The teacher, however, doesn’t miss a beat. It is a woman who is honorable, true to her family, her husband her children. She is cultured, educated and respectful (he explains that to be respectful is to be fully covered - parda). Another question from a different source; “so does beauty matter?” Again little time is needed for a response, no it’s not he replies. Skin beauty, he explains lasts only 5 or 10 years but inner beauty is the most important.

How many Americans can actually practice this type of view of women? Some, of course, but I would argue that an overwhelming majority, myself included, are hard pressed to exclusively view beauty in this way. But this entry is not about the view of women…

I will write this entry from the perspective of how Indians seem to view the world and explain their views of happiness from a spiritual sense… then relate it back to the concepts we wish, more than anything, we can emulate in everyday practice.

(this seems to switch subjects completely, but bear with me please…) Sitting down with the hotel owner last night I asked whether the motorized scooters outside the lobby were for rent. He replied that they were for hotel use but he would be happy for me to use his personal scooter. This was not, what I was going for. Aware that Indians take offense when you say no to their offers, I crafted a response that would elicit the least offense. I asked whether or not he would be nervous about me borrowing it and what would happened if, “something were to happen?” He responds that trust is most important. The consequences are irrelevant because of the good will the act would be based on. In the Hindu religion, the life cycle concept and the accrual of ‘good deeds’ has seemed to pervade all of Indian society.

The life cycle… One seeks ultimately to achieve moksha or Enlightenment. If one acts rightly in Hinduism, eventually – through a continuing cycle of death and rebirth (samsara) – one will come to a great understanding. In essence, it is like one will have ascended. In each social stratum that one is born into along the way, one must be careful to act rightly (dharma) in accordance with the obligations of that social stratum. By doing so, one increases one’s karma, which enables one to be reborn at a higher level in the next turn of the cycle and move closer to moksha.

The people here are good because being good, gives them a distinct advantage in life. Selfish, perhaps, but it’s hard to label anything as selfish when an Indian denies your offer to cover the tab because they couldn’t be happier to spend their HARD earned money on you. They ask that ‘thank you’ be eliminated from your vocabulary because it’s insulting. Why wouldn’t they do everything they could to make you happy? So does type of goodness define happiness? Of course, keep in mind, I’m assuming that this type of giving IS goodness. I speculate that this raw goodness comes from the happiness of the Indian people who live in the villages, and on the streets. They are happy with what they have. A local Udaipur, Muslim friend commented the other day that many people are simply ‘not happy’ and their needs are often too much for what they can get. He says that poor people are happy. Like for example, the rickshaw driver is happy because he simply drives, and doesn’t need anything else to be happy. Is this true? To use a religious reference, it seems that sometimes those with nothing are able to more effectively and patiently separate the tares from the wheat.

To be a greyhound driven by a carrot on a circular track might just be that, circular. You chase the carrot and it leads you back to where you started, never reaching the goal that seems to be inches away. Perhaps I’ve finally found the true definition of irony. It’s like our pursuit of beauty, image and acceptance…

I wonder whether there is some merit in the ‘drive’ of Americans, or are we rendering ourselves unhappy because of the carrot we can almost grasp but will never get in a vicious circular pattern…